Death of a family member : the Malay grief experiences shared in bereavement support group

Abstract

In life, death is one of the greatest certainties, and it is always associated with grief and loss. A qualitative study was conducted to describe the Malay participants' grief experiences in losing a close family member and their reactions to the group experience. A series of bereavement support groups called "Living With Loss" were conducted. Group memberships were solicited through campus advertisements and word-of-mouth. The groups were closed and semi-structured. Memberships were voluntary. Interested individuals were screened and interviewed to ensure memberships met the inclusion criteria. Two homogenous groups were established at two different locations (IPTA1 and IPTA2). They were university students in bachelor's to doctoral degree programs at public higher institutions (IPTA), who had experienced death of a close family member. Both groups, IPTA1 and IPTA2, met seven and six times respectively in three semesters. Each session lasted for ninety minutes. The study adopted the participant-observation design with in-depth group interviews. Semi-structured open-ended interview protocols were used. Data were also collected through various group activities such as sharing photos, mementos or sentimental items, letter and journal writing. Follow-up interviews and phone calls complemented the data collection. All the sessions were video and audio taped, and transcribed for analysis purposes. The major findings mapped out the Malays’ unique coping reactions that can be recognized as Universal Responses, Spiritual-inclined Responses and Ethnic-specific Responses. The results of the study were clustered under three levels of categories which has its own sub-themes. The levels rank the data from "Universal responses" to the “Spiritual-inclined” responses and finally to the “Ethnic-specific” - which seemed to be the unique descriptions of the participants’ responses. As expected, universal responses like crying were found to be practiced by the Malays. The study presented evidence of the acceptance of crying as a typical grief reaction of the bereaved. However, the study revealed that religious understanding has made the Malay participants aware of the fact that crying, though sometimes inevitable, must be in moderate manner. Some coping expressions that were unique and specific to the Muslims reflected their awareness of Islamic teaching: increased actions of making doa (supplication) for the dead; getting closer to God as they remember the deceased; being patient and accepting (redha). The ethnic specific responses unique to the bereaved Malays were: frequent visits to the graves; the recitation of tahlil or Surah Yasseen and kenduri arwah. The group outcomes showed the participants' positive reactions to the group discussions and activities and how they were affected by the group experience. They found the new experience to be beneficial and would recommend such group to be continued and practiced more widely in the society. The groups played significant roles in providing an avenue for members to share their stories – something they could not even do with their families though they came from close-knit families. Other findings revolved around family issues, roles and relationships affecting family members. For instance, remarriages after deaths of mothers or fathers heighten the sadness of the bereaved as role shifts inevitably took place when a new member entered the family and replaced the loved ones.